Time for a rant

I care about people. I have learned about loving everyone. But no matter how hard i try, i can't care about everyone the same. I say this without shame: i do love my friends over everyone else.

Now, i know a lot of people. I hang out with many of them, i talk to them, i even share some stuff with them. But they are not my friends. I might care about how are they, or their health, and that doesn't mean they have the same value to me as my friends.

And, i allow my friends to have an opinion in my life, to make decisions for me when i can't, i forgive them if they do something bad to me, i trust them even when the world says i shouldn't. And that is not something anyone else can do.

So, no matter how close you think you are to me, if you are not my friend, you don't get to say anything bad about my friends, or to hurt them in anyway. I stand up for almost everyone, but for my friends i fight back.

***
That was the introduction. I want to share something here, and let this be a reminder to everyone who might read this.

"Dire esto una vez, a quien le corresponda: No vuelvas a involucrar a mis amistades."

Last friday, my best friend got a phone call. A girl asked him if he knew me by my second name. He told her no. Then she asked with my full name. He said yes. She said it was one of my other best friends, and told him i had an accident. He freaked out, but didn't believed she was our friend, so he called the real one. She knew nothing, so they both tried to contact me, but since i had left facebook and my phone is almost always off, they had no way to do so. Today they managed to call my aunt, who told me about it. So, i contacted them, he told me they both had even cried and were really shocked and stressed.

That is the reason of this post. Because i wanted to write how fucking mad i am right now. I am tolerant, trust me. But if i can do something, i cannot let this pass. So, right now: Fuck Off, World

***
I do have some blame. I haven't kept up the contact with them. And i hate me because of it. I tend to be a very bad friend. But i try my best. So, to them, my friends, i love you all.

***

Old

Every now and then I feel so old, like I've wasted my life in stupid things. Every time that happens I go out with younger people. Yes, I am that selfish. I look at them, try to understand why they say and do things, how do they enjoy something. And then I remember who I am. Who I came to be thanks to the strange past, and who I want to be because of the present. They could never live what I lived. Or think they way I do. And I'm thankful for that. But (and maybe this is wrong) I compare myself to them, and I become afraid that all the younger people in this world are like them. Funny thing, human kind always seems to be in a decadent path, and despite that we have achieved so much. So, I hope that we all can see at our past and be thankful for what we did.

Limbo

My greatest enemy: homework. I can take everything else. Impossible problems that even teachers can't solve, wrong information, lack of stable WiFi. But to do the same thing over and over freaks me out. We should have evolved by now into beings that learn in one try.

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Concert! Yeah! Weird bands i almost never heard about! I will have to shut down the "critic" side of me to enjoy that day...  at least until i get back home :D

***
Funny thing happened at school today. My classmates wanted to leave because the teacher hadn't arrived. Almost all of them wanted to leave, but some were staying (i among them, yes i have become a nerd, yes i don't care). So, in the end, they all were waiting to see what would i do. I hate it when people look to me for answers. So, i went to ask other teachers and prefects. They told me we could leave, and we all left. It was that easy. And for half an hour, no one thought of that. I should have stayed :P

***
 Been singing this all day. I want to play it. Let's have some fun! :D

Oh surprise

First of all, a suggestion:

Have someone read to you everything you write. If you can tolerate it, then is not so bad. If you start laughing, trying to kill yourself or even think of burning your computer to stop the reading of such words, then...  well, then you have a problem. Like me.

***
I thought staying away from Facebook and 9gag would help me, besides focusing on school, in writing some more than i used to (which at some point was nothing at all). But turns out actually going to school is exhausting. I even go to bed at normal hours!

***
Thanks for the "Blue Like Jazz" book. I'm still reading it when i can, and so far is quite great. It helped me realize that i am not the only one who thinks similar thoughts. And now my mind is filled with crazy ideas. I truly wish those will endure time and become part of who i am :)

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I like the school! And this schedule (08:30 to 21:30) really helps me with time schedule. So, once again: Thanks God :)

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One of the things i have really enjoyed these two weeks is sing out loud while i'm walking or in public transport. Is fun, liberating, and allos me to see a different perspective on everything, from people to the nature itself.